So, who watched the President on Jay Leno tonight? Another job well done I'd say. I actually started writing this blog sooner but I became quite aggriavated by some comments I received about the above subject and had to have some tea to relax before I could re-collect my thoughts and write this post. And those upsetting comments are exactly what is propelling me to write this post.
The President said a lot of really interesting and articulate things tonight on Leno. I wish the video footage was uploaded already because I'd love to link and use direct quotes. But alas, I'm going off what I remember and discussions I was having with my parents, mainly my dad during the interview. In fact we were talking so much, we missed some of the funnier things being said. Now before I start, I'm telling you know that this is purely my analysis and opinions and I may get a little frustrated and passionate.
One thing that really struck me that the President talked about today was how what a lot of these banks and credit card and mortgage companies did and are doing is completely legal. CapitalOne can charge me ridiculous amounts of interest on my credit card if they want to. But the President put it this way, and it really stayed with me. "When your toaster blows up in your face, you're protected because appliances are supposed to be safe. But when your credit card blows up in your face, there's no one there to protect you." I'm currently going through some credit card issues and so that really hit home. And he's completely right. Sure, there may be ways to fix the problem, but what if you can't bail yourself out? This is how they trap you. And like he said, its not just about fixing everything at this point, we really do need to start re-writing the laws around here to protect the interests of the consumers.
What we as a country have to understand is that this isn't going to happen in a day. Its all a trickle down effect and it's going to take some time for it to get down to us. First of all, the man has only been in office for two months! Contrary to what some may want to believe, he's not Superman; he can't fix it all instantly. And to those who want to talk about how much further in debt he is putting us in, what do you expect? You have to bottom out before you go back up. After listening to what the President had to say tonight, I know that he knows that. He knows what he's doing people. And he does not have an easy road ahead of him. This current economic state isn't something that he can fix in a month. It's going to take a long time. And yes, my great grandchildren may still be paying for it but guess what people? HE DIDN'T DO THIS ON HIS OWN!! HE'S COME INTO OFFICE AND NOW HAS TO FIX OTHER PEOPLE'S MISTAKES!!!
This is really what frustrates me the most. No one before Obama want to own up to the responsiblity of their wrong actions. He's only been President for fifty-nine days. What about the people who were in charge before him? I don't see them stepping up to the plate. And I'm not saying anything about taking the blame for what happened. Its not about blame anymore. It's about owning up to the wrongdoings that have been commited. My dad was telling me that Obama has asked for the help of those who came before him who were in similar positions because as we both reasoned they're the ones who put him in the situation he's currently in, so the least they can do is to help come up with ways to fix it. Right? I think it's only fair. And like my dad said, it's bad enough that Obama has all this stuff to deal with but he also has to deal with the Republicans throwing stones at him, hoping for failure.
My dad saying that is what prompted the title of this blog. People in glass houses should not throw stones. And I say that because who was in charge before Obama? Who were the people who put the country in the position its in now? It wasn't the Obama administration that's for sure. But no one wants to talk about that. They just want to sit and point fingers about what's happening now. To understand where we are now, we have to look at the past. And what's happening now isn't something that was done in fifty-nine days, a year or even eight years. This is twenty plus years of destruction that is finally come to a head. And I'm not pointing fingers at Republicans, my parents used to be Republicans. But they do all of this damage and then don't want to accept the responsibilty for their actions. May I point out that the last President to leave the nation in such a damaging deficit was Ronald Regan in the 80s? He was a Republican. Destruction yet again. So don't sit there and throw stones, because if we threw them back, it would be more devestating for you.
And now bringing it back to my inital aggrivation. I really hate it when people talk about things that sure they may have a clue of but it's completely one sided. If you only watch right wing news, you're only going to have their side of the story. Look at both sides of the arguement before you pick a side. Because though you may think you know what you're talking about, you may not be getting all of the information. And then you're coming at me with a one sided arguement. I don't take kindly to one sided arguments and attacks. Also, don't talk to me like I don't know what's going on. My father is a JOURNALIST. This is what he does for a living; gathering information and then reporting on it. We talk a lot about what's going on, we always have. And I do my own research as well. So when you want to go on the defensive, you better know what you're coming up against.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Who Am I?
Hello again kind readers! Its been awhile since I last wrote. Well a lot has gone on and I'll write another post about that soon but really I have a specific thought process today.
Kay so I was listening to one of my favorite new-ish albums, Taylor Swift's 'Fearless'. I love love love Taylor and I was super excited that I finally got the cd because I've wanted it forever. One of the songs has really just got me thinking lately and so I figured why not come think out loud on the blog? So the song is called 'Fifteen'. If anyone watched the Grammy's Taylor sang it with Miley Cyrus. That's when I fell in love with the song because the lyrics really made me think back to what my life was like back then. I've recently spent a lot of time reminicising with one of my best friends from high school about the good ole' days. For me, the age of fifteen was the end of freshman year and the beginning of sophomore year. Fifteen was an interesting age.
At the end of freshman year I had a HUGE crush on a boy who was a senior. He was like the BMOC type and everyone loved him. We were friends and we still are friends and like way after the fact, he told me that he had a crush on me back then but it wouldn't have worked out. He was getting ready for college and I was a big dork with a penchant for platform shoes despite being like 5'9". But I thought I was really cool. I had a great group of friends and nobody was teasing me in the malicious way they had when I was younger.
Back to the song. I feel like a lot of the stuff Taylor talks about in the song are still totally relevant to me at the age I am now. Even more so now I think and that's what she's saying in the song I guess. But listening to it made me think so much. Here comes the lyrics! Not the whole song, but the lines I find relevant with my analysis.
"Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them." <--- the beginning to the chorus. This is true at that age of course. I wouldn't really know because there weren't any boys telling me that at fifteen...hell there aren't any boys telling me that now. And while that lyric is true of being a teen, isn't that true of love at any age? I mean I feel like it's more true of love in your 20s, 30s, whatever. Because who really knows what love is at fifteen? But when you're older and you think you've figured it out, aren't you more prone to believe someone when they tell you they love you? Because you know what love is? And also aren't you usually willing to believe someone loves you because you want them to love you?
"And when you're fifteen feeling like there's nothing to figure out..." Well hell, I thought I knew everything when I was a teenager. It wasn't until I turned like 21 that I realized I knew absolutely NOTHING. This is truth friends. When you're a teenager you're so sure of everything and no one can tell you anything different. I mean I thought I had the world all figured out. Of course it wasn't until I actually got out into the world that I realized nothing was as I thought it was.
"When all you wanted was to be wanted, wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now" heck yeah! I mean, I still want a guy to want to be with me but if I could go back and tell myself then that there are a million more important things than getting a boy to like you, I probably would. Even though I kind of liked how I was so innocent that the biggest problem of my life was getting a guy to like me. It was kind of nice to live my life where that was the biggest problem.
And the final one is: "I've found that time can heal most anything and you just might find who you're supposed to be. I didn't know who I was supposed to be...at fifteen" this is pretty close to the end. And I think it is probably the part of the song that speaks to me most. It took me a long time to get over things that happened in high school. Most recently and most importantly, a very good friendship. My best friend in high school and I had a HUGE fight that looking back was so silly and we didn't speak for four years. Now it's like nothing ever happened but I wished she would have been there for some of the big things that happened to me during college. I don't think I know who I'm supposed to be just yet but I think I'm working on it. I know more about myself now at 22 than I knew about myself back then, that's for sure. But I think you have to have some life experience to figure out who you are that I just didn't have at fifteen. I was sheltered and taken care of and there were a lot of things that I didn't have to worry about that I do now.
And so now you know how I feel about that.
Kay so I was listening to one of my favorite new-ish albums, Taylor Swift's 'Fearless'. I love love love Taylor and I was super excited that I finally got the cd because I've wanted it forever. One of the songs has really just got me thinking lately and so I figured why not come think out loud on the blog? So the song is called 'Fifteen'. If anyone watched the Grammy's Taylor sang it with Miley Cyrus. That's when I fell in love with the song because the lyrics really made me think back to what my life was like back then. I've recently spent a lot of time reminicising with one of my best friends from high school about the good ole' days. For me, the age of fifteen was the end of freshman year and the beginning of sophomore year. Fifteen was an interesting age.
At the end of freshman year I had a HUGE crush on a boy who was a senior. He was like the BMOC type and everyone loved him. We were friends and we still are friends and like way after the fact, he told me that he had a crush on me back then but it wouldn't have worked out. He was getting ready for college and I was a big dork with a penchant for platform shoes despite being like 5'9". But I thought I was really cool. I had a great group of friends and nobody was teasing me in the malicious way they had when I was younger.
Back to the song. I feel like a lot of the stuff Taylor talks about in the song are still totally relevant to me at the age I am now. Even more so now I think and that's what she's saying in the song I guess. But listening to it made me think so much. Here comes the lyrics! Not the whole song, but the lines I find relevant with my analysis.
"Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them." <--- the beginning to the chorus. This is true at that age of course. I wouldn't really know because there weren't any boys telling me that at fifteen...hell there aren't any boys telling me that now. And while that lyric is true of being a teen, isn't that true of love at any age? I mean I feel like it's more true of love in your 20s, 30s, whatever. Because who really knows what love is at fifteen? But when you're older and you think you've figured it out, aren't you more prone to believe someone when they tell you they love you? Because you know what love is? And also aren't you usually willing to believe someone loves you because you want them to love you?
"And when you're fifteen feeling like there's nothing to figure out..." Well hell, I thought I knew everything when I was a teenager. It wasn't until I turned like 21 that I realized I knew absolutely NOTHING. This is truth friends. When you're a teenager you're so sure of everything and no one can tell you anything different. I mean I thought I had the world all figured out. Of course it wasn't until I actually got out into the world that I realized nothing was as I thought it was.
"When all you wanted was to be wanted, wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now" heck yeah! I mean, I still want a guy to want to be with me but if I could go back and tell myself then that there are a million more important things than getting a boy to like you, I probably would. Even though I kind of liked how I was so innocent that the biggest problem of my life was getting a guy to like me. It was kind of nice to live my life where that was the biggest problem.
And the final one is: "I've found that time can heal most anything and you just might find who you're supposed to be. I didn't know who I was supposed to be...at fifteen" this is pretty close to the end. And I think it is probably the part of the song that speaks to me most. It took me a long time to get over things that happened in high school. Most recently and most importantly, a very good friendship. My best friend in high school and I had a HUGE fight that looking back was so silly and we didn't speak for four years. Now it's like nothing ever happened but I wished she would have been there for some of the big things that happened to me during college. I don't think I know who I'm supposed to be just yet but I think I'm working on it. I know more about myself now at 22 than I knew about myself back then, that's for sure. But I think you have to have some life experience to figure out who you are that I just didn't have at fifteen. I was sheltered and taken care of and there were a lot of things that I didn't have to worry about that I do now.
And so now you know how I feel about that.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Where is Your Heart?
Hello world and thank you Kelly Clarkson for providing me with an easy title. So, here's the new blog! My first request too!! Even though I'm sure this is something I would have written about sooner or later...love. Oh yes, I'm going there. Its time kiddos. It's a new year and time for a new perspective on life yes? Kay, well here goes.
My good friend asked me to write a blog about "love, heartache and pain." Hello! Three words I'm very familiar with. So I put on the Kelly Clarkson (who is also very familiar with these three words) and I'm getting to work.
Now, I'm my very humbled and honest opinion, you can't have good true love without heartache and pain first. I mean, how will you be able to appreciate the good stuff without the bad stuff right? I know this much from experience. Hell, who doesn't? Half of the conversations I have with my girlfriends is about men. The men we love, the men we used to love, the ones we could have loved, the ones we spurned, the ones who spurned us...you get the picture. As singer Willa Ford so brilliantly said "Fuck the men, let's drink to us!" It is so amazing that so much of our lives as women can be marked by the men that were apart of it. 'Sex and the City' is one of my favorite shows and Carrie Bradshaw's life on the show is really marked by her three big relationships: Big, Aiden and the Russian. You know what? I think I'm going to ease into this thrilling look at love by talking about my favorite show.
'Sex and the City' is practically a woman's guide. A handbook for life and love in New York City some may say. I mean, I definitely know a lot of girls who look at their lives through the lens of Carrie and Co. Hell, I do it all the time! First, Carrie has Mr. Big. Big never really goes away though does he? I know the feeling Carrie. The Mr. Big type is the guy who keeps ripping your heart out, pounding it flat with a meat cleaver and handing it back to you. And while you know that he's toxic and no good for you; you also know that he's your destiny so you keep going back for another pounding. Mr. Big serves Carrie her heart on a tray more times than we can keep track of. Calling her his "friend" in front of his mother, not being able to ever tell her she's "The One", marrying the idiot stick figure with no soul (the much younger Natasha), the affair, showing up just as Carrie thinks her life is finally going the way she wants it to (pre-Paris), coming to her rescue, leaving her at the altar (if you haven't seen the movie by now, what the hell are you waiting for?!) and then finally he manages to sit right and fly straight. Should Carrie have stuck around for all of that? No. But she did because Mr. Big was her destiny. But it proves that you have to deal with the bad to get to the good.
I have plenty of girlfriends who have man problems. I mean, what woman doesn't right? But sitting around and talking about it (usually over food or coffee or both) is the only way we can deal with and work through our issues. Now I've heard some seriously cringe worthy stories from my girls. The crazy stalker who called 6 times a day and showed up at my friend's house only to get chased away by her family; the alcoholic drug addict who caused a scene at my friend's place of work, the straight boy who acts gayer than any gay we've ever met (seriously), or better yet, the guy you think is the love of your life who turns out to be gay, the mixed message sender, the commitment phobe, and a sordid amount of other tales that would be pages and pages to tell. My personal favorite is the guy who tells you he loves you but you can't be together so he dates some wholly inappropriate girl (one with some nasal issues) or someone who has something in common with you (like your knack with the sarcastic comments, your wit when armed with a pen or your love for the stage) in a backward, lame attempt to get over you and/or make you ridiculously jealous. This last issue I can speak of from personal experience.
Now the reason I think my friend asked me to write about this subject is because she is dealing with separation anxiety. She is forced to be away from her boyfriend who she cares about more than she'll let on for longer than she'd like and it's killing her. Hence the pain and heartache part of love. It sucks to be apart from the person you love, no matter what the circumstances are for your separation. When you're forced to be away from your love, you don't really feel completely whole. It always feels like something is gnawing away at your insides and you just can't get it to stop. There is a constant dull pain deep down inside of you that no amount of social interaction, chocolate or booze will ever dull. It is truly one of the most unbearable feelings in the world. And yet when you can't change it, you are forced to deal with it. It's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place; there is no happy alternative. It's really just a matter of how long you can stick it out whether it be six months or three years. Again, this I know for personal experience.
The thing is when you begin to picture your life without that person and you can't. I had a friend who said that she knows the man who is her soulmate because there have been times when she's literally wanted to kill him but then in the next moment couldn't imagine her life without him. I had to say that I totally agreed with this statement. Or in a less extreme situation, when you can just imagine being with someone for a long time. Maybe not forever, but for the forseeable future. What do you do when that person is suddenly not there anymore? If it's time, or distance or circumstance that keeps that person away, their absence throws you into a tailspin of how to suddenly deal with your life and where they fit into it. You know that no matter what the circumstance, you aren't giving them up without a fight. Its hard because there will be mornings where you will wake up and ask yourself: "what the hell are you thinking by sticking around?" but others where you can't imagine being any other place, no matter how much it's killing you.
Please let me tell you, it will kill you. That pang you feel in your heart every time you think about him, that incurable dull ache, the dreams that haunt you at night, the moments where you can't stop smiling...its all going to get to you after awhile. The only thing I can say from experience is that it will get easier. You'll learn how to handle the good feelings and the bad. Or if you can't be with him, you'll learn how to get over being without him. You'll still love him of course but you'll be able to keep the thoughts from haunting you and making you want to rip all of the hair out of your head. You'll be able to look at him clearly an objectively again and tell him when he's done something that makes you happy or unhappy. It all comes with time.
And if it doesn't work out and you are forced to sit and put back together the pieces of your broken heart, you can do what another friend used to do. Picture all of your exes singing *NSYNC's "I Want You Back" to you. It will definitely induce a good chuckle.
But I leave you with these last thoughts. Remember, what's meant to be will be and if it wasn't, its because there's something better out there. Love takes time but you can't have great love without great heartbreak, heartache and pain.
My good friend asked me to write a blog about "love, heartache and pain." Hello! Three words I'm very familiar with. So I put on the Kelly Clarkson (who is also very familiar with these three words) and I'm getting to work.
Now, I'm my very humbled and honest opinion, you can't have good true love without heartache and pain first. I mean, how will you be able to appreciate the good stuff without the bad stuff right? I know this much from experience. Hell, who doesn't? Half of the conversations I have with my girlfriends is about men. The men we love, the men we used to love, the ones we could have loved, the ones we spurned, the ones who spurned us...you get the picture. As singer Willa Ford so brilliantly said "Fuck the men, let's drink to us!" It is so amazing that so much of our lives as women can be marked by the men that were apart of it. 'Sex and the City' is one of my favorite shows and Carrie Bradshaw's life on the show is really marked by her three big relationships: Big, Aiden and the Russian. You know what? I think I'm going to ease into this thrilling look at love by talking about my favorite show.
'Sex and the City' is practically a woman's guide. A handbook for life and love in New York City some may say. I mean, I definitely know a lot of girls who look at their lives through the lens of Carrie and Co. Hell, I do it all the time! First, Carrie has Mr. Big. Big never really goes away though does he? I know the feeling Carrie. The Mr. Big type is the guy who keeps ripping your heart out, pounding it flat with a meat cleaver and handing it back to you. And while you know that he's toxic and no good for you; you also know that he's your destiny so you keep going back for another pounding. Mr. Big serves Carrie her heart on a tray more times than we can keep track of. Calling her his "friend" in front of his mother, not being able to ever tell her she's "The One", marrying the idiot stick figure with no soul (the much younger Natasha), the affair, showing up just as Carrie thinks her life is finally going the way she wants it to (pre-Paris), coming to her rescue, leaving her at the altar (if you haven't seen the movie by now, what the hell are you waiting for?!) and then finally he manages to sit right and fly straight. Should Carrie have stuck around for all of that? No. But she did because Mr. Big was her destiny. But it proves that you have to deal with the bad to get to the good.
I have plenty of girlfriends who have man problems. I mean, what woman doesn't right? But sitting around and talking about it (usually over food or coffee or both) is the only way we can deal with and work through our issues. Now I've heard some seriously cringe worthy stories from my girls. The crazy stalker who called 6 times a day and showed up at my friend's house only to get chased away by her family; the alcoholic drug addict who caused a scene at my friend's place of work, the straight boy who acts gayer than any gay we've ever met (seriously), or better yet, the guy you think is the love of your life who turns out to be gay, the mixed message sender, the commitment phobe, and a sordid amount of other tales that would be pages and pages to tell. My personal favorite is the guy who tells you he loves you but you can't be together so he dates some wholly inappropriate girl (one with some nasal issues) or someone who has something in common with you (like your knack with the sarcastic comments, your wit when armed with a pen or your love for the stage) in a backward, lame attempt to get over you and/or make you ridiculously jealous. This last issue I can speak of from personal experience.
Now the reason I think my friend asked me to write about this subject is because she is dealing with separation anxiety. She is forced to be away from her boyfriend who she cares about more than she'll let on for longer than she'd like and it's killing her. Hence the pain and heartache part of love. It sucks to be apart from the person you love, no matter what the circumstances are for your separation. When you're forced to be away from your love, you don't really feel completely whole. It always feels like something is gnawing away at your insides and you just can't get it to stop. There is a constant dull pain deep down inside of you that no amount of social interaction, chocolate or booze will ever dull. It is truly one of the most unbearable feelings in the world. And yet when you can't change it, you are forced to deal with it. It's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place; there is no happy alternative. It's really just a matter of how long you can stick it out whether it be six months or three years. Again, this I know for personal experience.
The thing is when you begin to picture your life without that person and you can't. I had a friend who said that she knows the man who is her soulmate because there have been times when she's literally wanted to kill him but then in the next moment couldn't imagine her life without him. I had to say that I totally agreed with this statement. Or in a less extreme situation, when you can just imagine being with someone for a long time. Maybe not forever, but for the forseeable future. What do you do when that person is suddenly not there anymore? If it's time, or distance or circumstance that keeps that person away, their absence throws you into a tailspin of how to suddenly deal with your life and where they fit into it. You know that no matter what the circumstance, you aren't giving them up without a fight. Its hard because there will be mornings where you will wake up and ask yourself: "what the hell are you thinking by sticking around?" but others where you can't imagine being any other place, no matter how much it's killing you.
Please let me tell you, it will kill you. That pang you feel in your heart every time you think about him, that incurable dull ache, the dreams that haunt you at night, the moments where you can't stop smiling...its all going to get to you after awhile. The only thing I can say from experience is that it will get easier. You'll learn how to handle the good feelings and the bad. Or if you can't be with him, you'll learn how to get over being without him. You'll still love him of course but you'll be able to keep the thoughts from haunting you and making you want to rip all of the hair out of your head. You'll be able to look at him clearly an objectively again and tell him when he's done something that makes you happy or unhappy. It all comes with time.
And if it doesn't work out and you are forced to sit and put back together the pieces of your broken heart, you can do what another friend used to do. Picture all of your exes singing *NSYNC's "I Want You Back" to you. It will definitely induce a good chuckle.
But I leave you with these last thoughts. Remember, what's meant to be will be and if it wasn't, its because there's something better out there. Love takes time but you can't have great love without great heartbreak, heartache and pain.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
History
Hi nobody! I really need to work on promoting this guy more.
So, yesterday January 20th, 2009 was a day that changed history. Barack H. Obama became the 44th president of the United States. He is also the first african american president EVER. As an african american, I can honestly say that this isn't something I thought I'd see this early in my young life, if ever. I thought that there was still too much prejudice in this country for people to see past the color of this brillant man's skin to see that he would really be the best person for the job.
This whole election was definitely one that changed history. I mean, there was so much more at stake than there has been in the past. Not just the war or the economy but both. The person who was to take on the presidency had to be someone strong enough to handle all of that. And to fix the mistakes made by the administration before him. And now I know that some of my friends don't agree with my political views and this isn't going to be a post where that's all I speak about. But now that Barack has been sworn in and is officially official I pause a minute to think about how different things would have been if John McCain had been elected. I really don't think that things would have changed much if at all. The rich would still be rich and the poor would just get poorer. As a member of the poor I would really like to see things change in that capacity. It isn't fair that my parents have to be driven out of the city they've called their home for 50+ years because rents are getting expensive. It isn't fair that I will be paying off student loans until I'm 42 because of the killer interest rates. It shouldn't be that only 5% of the population controlls the wealth. And this is something I really believe that Obama will change. Of course it isn't going to happen in a day, a month, a year, maybe not even 4 years. But I know that he will set the wheels in motion for such a thing to happen.
Why do I know that? Because Barack and Michelle Obama are regular people. They're just like me and my family, except now they have a really swanky address and a lot of power. But they shop at Target and their kids go to public school and Michelle wears clothes from the Ann Taylor Loft and looks just as beautiful in them as she would in Dior. They didn't come from money so they understand what it means to have to fight and struggle just to keep your head above water. They know the uphill battle than me and a lot of my friends are now facing with paying back our student loans, forcing us to live with our parents or to do jobs that we may not want just to be able to pay the bills but be no closer to moving out of their houses no matter how much we want to. They understand what its like to be a student who struggles to find a job in this economy which is damn near impossible. And they care and want to make it better for us. Would McCain? I don't think so, I really don't. I mean he and his wife come from priviledge. I bet their kids didn't have to take out student loans and they have plenty of money to live comfortably.
They have no idea what it's like to have to make a decision like feeding your family or putting gas in your car. They don't know what its like to put off buying something that you need just so that everyone else in your household is taken care of. They don't know that kind of sacrifice which is why I don't think that they would have done what they needed to do to make it better. And as a woman, I would fear for my rights if McCain would have won. Why? Because we wouldn't have any anymore. Obama is going to keep the rights we have like Roe v. Wade and giving us new ones, like help for single mothers who have to take off work if their kid gets sick. He understands the plight of the working class family.
And as I sat on my couch wrapped in a blanket watching him take the oath of office and make his speech, I was proud. Proud because we now have a man in office who will do everything he can to make life better for everyone. A man who doesn't let anyone off the hook for the situations we now find ourselves in as a country. A man who has pride, not just because of who we are and what we've done but because of what we can do and what he will lead us to do in the future. You may not agree with me, but where has that pride been for the last 8 years? Where has any of that responsibility been the last 8 years? Where has that humility been the last 8 years? Surely not in the United States of America. In the past 8 years I've seen arrogance and gluttony, not physical gluttony but monetary gluttony. An abuse of power and people who didn't care about the thousands of innocent lives that were lost under their command. And I don't care what anyone says, that isn't a country to be proud of. How can you be proud of a country that has not only failed its own citizens but has caused devastation all around the world? You can't. At least I can't.
Now I am proud to be an American. I know that the Obama administration will work tirelessly to restore the world's faith in America and its citizens. I know that I sat and watched an eloquent, well spoken and sharply dressed man make a promise. A promise to not only his country and the world but to himself to make this world a better place for future generations. As Sam Cooke said in his famous civil rights anthem 'It's been a long time coming but I know a change is gonna come.' Yes it is Sam. And yes we can America. Land of the free and home of the brave.
So, yesterday January 20th, 2009 was a day that changed history. Barack H. Obama became the 44th president of the United States. He is also the first african american president EVER. As an african american, I can honestly say that this isn't something I thought I'd see this early in my young life, if ever. I thought that there was still too much prejudice in this country for people to see past the color of this brillant man's skin to see that he would really be the best person for the job.
This whole election was definitely one that changed history. I mean, there was so much more at stake than there has been in the past. Not just the war or the economy but both. The person who was to take on the presidency had to be someone strong enough to handle all of that. And to fix the mistakes made by the administration before him. And now I know that some of my friends don't agree with my political views and this isn't going to be a post where that's all I speak about. But now that Barack has been sworn in and is officially official I pause a minute to think about how different things would have been if John McCain had been elected. I really don't think that things would have changed much if at all. The rich would still be rich and the poor would just get poorer. As a member of the poor I would really like to see things change in that capacity. It isn't fair that my parents have to be driven out of the city they've called their home for 50+ years because rents are getting expensive. It isn't fair that I will be paying off student loans until I'm 42 because of the killer interest rates. It shouldn't be that only 5% of the population controlls the wealth. And this is something I really believe that Obama will change. Of course it isn't going to happen in a day, a month, a year, maybe not even 4 years. But I know that he will set the wheels in motion for such a thing to happen.
Why do I know that? Because Barack and Michelle Obama are regular people. They're just like me and my family, except now they have a really swanky address and a lot of power. But they shop at Target and their kids go to public school and Michelle wears clothes from the Ann Taylor Loft and looks just as beautiful in them as she would in Dior. They didn't come from money so they understand what it means to have to fight and struggle just to keep your head above water. They know the uphill battle than me and a lot of my friends are now facing with paying back our student loans, forcing us to live with our parents or to do jobs that we may not want just to be able to pay the bills but be no closer to moving out of their houses no matter how much we want to. They understand what its like to be a student who struggles to find a job in this economy which is damn near impossible. And they care and want to make it better for us. Would McCain? I don't think so, I really don't. I mean he and his wife come from priviledge. I bet their kids didn't have to take out student loans and they have plenty of money to live comfortably.
They have no idea what it's like to have to make a decision like feeding your family or putting gas in your car. They don't know what its like to put off buying something that you need just so that everyone else in your household is taken care of. They don't know that kind of sacrifice which is why I don't think that they would have done what they needed to do to make it better. And as a woman, I would fear for my rights if McCain would have won. Why? Because we wouldn't have any anymore. Obama is going to keep the rights we have like Roe v. Wade and giving us new ones, like help for single mothers who have to take off work if their kid gets sick. He understands the plight of the working class family.
And as I sat on my couch wrapped in a blanket watching him take the oath of office and make his speech, I was proud. Proud because we now have a man in office who will do everything he can to make life better for everyone. A man who doesn't let anyone off the hook for the situations we now find ourselves in as a country. A man who has pride, not just because of who we are and what we've done but because of what we can do and what he will lead us to do in the future. You may not agree with me, but where has that pride been for the last 8 years? Where has any of that responsibility been the last 8 years? Where has that humility been the last 8 years? Surely not in the United States of America. In the past 8 years I've seen arrogance and gluttony, not physical gluttony but monetary gluttony. An abuse of power and people who didn't care about the thousands of innocent lives that were lost under their command. And I don't care what anyone says, that isn't a country to be proud of. How can you be proud of a country that has not only failed its own citizens but has caused devastation all around the world? You can't. At least I can't.
Now I am proud to be an American. I know that the Obama administration will work tirelessly to restore the world's faith in America and its citizens. I know that I sat and watched an eloquent, well spoken and sharply dressed man make a promise. A promise to not only his country and the world but to himself to make this world a better place for future generations. As Sam Cooke said in his famous civil rights anthem 'It's been a long time coming but I know a change is gonna come.' Yes it is Sam. And yes we can America. Land of the free and home of the brave.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Making it on Broadway!
So, there was a contest being run before the holidays through Broadway Space.com with the program Making it On Broadway. Basically if you friended Making it on Broadway, you would be entered to win a free master class during one of their winter intensive programs. Well, I was the lucky winner, and believe me when I say I was lucky. At first I thought that I would only be able to attend one class but once I got to the first class, Jodie Langel, the co-founder and teacher at Making it on Broadway, informed me that I would be able to sit in on all of the master classes for the week.
I attended two of the master classes during this week's intensive one with Roger Bart (who had only finished performing in Young Frankenstein two days before) and one with Andrea Burns, one of the current stars of In The Heights. They were two of the best classes I have ever had the privilege of attending. I absolutely loved observing their two different approaches to working with the actors in the class. Both were very hands-on with the students and answered every question as truthfully as they possibly could. When I asked Roger Bart how he finds the balance between taking a job because it's a paycheck or doing something because of his feelings toward it as an artist, he told us to find the artistry in every role. But if you've been in the chorus making a steady paycheck and you're ready for something more, know when its okay to say "No." And Andrea Burns was also honest about what being an actor feels like. Of recently performing on the Tony's, she was very frank. She knew that the opportunity may never come again so she relished every minute of it, especially when she knew others who got their turn before her.
As for watching them actually work with students they both had very different approaches but both very helpful. Roger Bart was mainly going on his first impressions of a lot of the pieces because he admitted that he's not super savvy on a lot of musical theatre. And his gut reactions were still very honest and very wonderful. You can tell that what he said was appreciated and the kids were not just taking it at face value. I mean, obviously the man knows what he's talking about; he has a Tony. And he's absolutely wonderful as an actor and as a person. I kinda want to be his best friend. Andrea Burns wasn't starkly different but different enough. She asked a lot more questions about the motivation behind the choices that each student made. Watching her work with the students made me feel like I was in college again and that was kind of enjoyable for the moment.
I didn't get the chance to thank Roger because he had his knee drained earlier that afternoon and was in a lot of pain so they kind of rushed him out but I got to thank Andrea and tell her what a treat it was to see her work. Only last night I was singing along with her on my computer and then poof! there she was in front of me! It was kind of epic. I've never gotten to have that kind of experience with a Broadway actor before. Well except for when I met Laura Benanti, but I didn't get to watch her work; I just got to take a picture with her and have her tell me that I was beautiful.
But both classes were absolutely awesome. The intensive is a bit pricey, but from the little sneak peek I got, definitely worth the money you'd be spending! I'm definitely going to save my pennies and sign up for the next one! For more information and to see a list of past professionals that have worked with the program, check out their website here I want to thank Broadway Space and Jodie from Making it on Broadway for giving me such a great opportunity.
I attended two of the master classes during this week's intensive one with Roger Bart (who had only finished performing in Young Frankenstein two days before) and one with Andrea Burns, one of the current stars of In The Heights. They were two of the best classes I have ever had the privilege of attending. I absolutely loved observing their two different approaches to working with the actors in the class. Both were very hands-on with the students and answered every question as truthfully as they possibly could. When I asked Roger Bart how he finds the balance between taking a job because it's a paycheck or doing something because of his feelings toward it as an artist, he told us to find the artistry in every role. But if you've been in the chorus making a steady paycheck and you're ready for something more, know when its okay to say "No." And Andrea Burns was also honest about what being an actor feels like. Of recently performing on the Tony's, she was very frank. She knew that the opportunity may never come again so she relished every minute of it, especially when she knew others who got their turn before her.
As for watching them actually work with students they both had very different approaches but both very helpful. Roger Bart was mainly going on his first impressions of a lot of the pieces because he admitted that he's not super savvy on a lot of musical theatre. And his gut reactions were still very honest and very wonderful. You can tell that what he said was appreciated and the kids were not just taking it at face value. I mean, obviously the man knows what he's talking about; he has a Tony. And he's absolutely wonderful as an actor and as a person. I kinda want to be his best friend. Andrea Burns wasn't starkly different but different enough. She asked a lot more questions about the motivation behind the choices that each student made. Watching her work with the students made me feel like I was in college again and that was kind of enjoyable for the moment.
I didn't get the chance to thank Roger because he had his knee drained earlier that afternoon and was in a lot of pain so they kind of rushed him out but I got to thank Andrea and tell her what a treat it was to see her work. Only last night I was singing along with her on my computer and then poof! there she was in front of me! It was kind of epic. I've never gotten to have that kind of experience with a Broadway actor before. Well except for when I met Laura Benanti, but I didn't get to watch her work; I just got to take a picture with her and have her tell me that I was beautiful.
But both classes were absolutely awesome. The intensive is a bit pricey, but from the little sneak peek I got, definitely worth the money you'd be spending! I'm definitely going to save my pennies and sign up for the next one! For more information and to see a list of past professionals that have worked with the program, check out their website here I want to thank Broadway Space and Jodie from Making it on Broadway for giving me such a great opportunity.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Resurrection
Well hello there! I know, its been like a million gagillion months since I last wrote in this thing. That's not to say I haven't had plenty of things to talk about, it just means I'm a lazy bum who didn't necessarily want to write down her thoughts. But I'm back! *rejoicing begins*
So! Whatever shall we talk about? There have been a lot of things that have happened since my last post. The most obvious is that I graduated from college. It has been a very life altering experience to say the least. I'm officially an adult now and it has really taught me a lot about myself and how I have to deal with different life situations.
We all know that I got my degree in Theatre Studies with the intention of becoming an actor. This is still a very big reality and in the last few months I've really gotten myself in gear. I've gone on auditions (no parts but still experience) and I've been doing what I've needed to improve upon all that I've already learned. When I finally got serious about this whole thing a few months ago, one of the first things I found necessary to do was work on my singing. Sure, I'm a pretty decent singer; I've been told that I have a good voice but it hasn't been a priority for me in a long time. I called around to people I knew and one of my dad's friends has a daughter who is a singer. So I asked her for reccommendations to find a good vocal coach/teacher who could help me better my voice. She did and I was grateful because it wasn't terribly out of my price range ($80 an hour) and it was easily accessible.
At our first lesson (which I was incredibly late for due to trains and ferries just hating me) she taught me her methods for breathing and how to support your breath, etc. Most of it was not stuff I had ever heard anyone suggest to me before. But I went with it because well one of her students was nominated for a Grammy so I figured she knew something. Well, over the course of our lessons, I've mainly been preparing for upcoming auditions and so have specific styles and songs that I've wanted to work on. Now let me say something here; I don't believe in just learning enough of the song for an audition. But after we'd "warm up" and she'd push me to make my voice do things I didn't think I could do (nor did I want to sometimes) then I'd finally be able to get to the song I wanted to prepare.
Let me say, she has a very different approach working on a song than anyone else I've worked with. Sure, if I've never heard a song before I may download it so I can hear it and get a feel for it but I would never really use it to work on the song once I knew all the words. But that's how I would have to do it. After we'd warm up, I'd get out my iPod (never the sheet music) and I'd sing along with the song until she'd stop me and critique what I as doing wrong. Can I just tell you that it's one thing to sing along with Lisa Loeb (the last song we worked on) in my kitchen than it is to sing along with her to try and work on a song that I wanted to learn? It's practically impossible. And now I have her forcing me to do things with my voice and my words that didn't even sound like me singing. Um hello? You don't belt 'Stay', you sing it. It's a ballad and not Celine or Christina or Beyonce or something. This is the last song we worked on so the experience is still freshest in my mind. So now that she's ripped apart my interpretation of the song and the way I sing it, I find myself changing things to make her happy and not to really sing the song the way I felt I should. Oh and did I mention she doesn't play the piano? So When I'd go in for an audition, no one had ever played the song for me on piano.
And I only know 16 bars of all 5 songs that we worked on. She only worked with me on the 16 bars I needed for the audition. Okay granted, we only had an hour but time could have allotted differently to allow working on a whole song. So now I know 16 bars of 5 songs. But what if I don't want to sing the 16 bars of the songs that I know? Yeah, I'm totally winging it. Wonderful isn't it?
So anyways, when I scheduled a lesson for this past week (for a time completely annoying for me but more on that in a sec) I had to cancel last minute because of the snow. Staten Island was kind of a mess and it started snowing right before I would have had to leave for our lesson. The buses were slow and so were the ferries so I would have been late for our lesson anyway so I just canceled. I know her rule is that you cancel at most 24 hours before your lesson but um hi, couldn't anticipate the weather. When she called me back to confirm that she got my message, she was very angry and rude with me! I was like "look, I'm sorry and I know your rule but there's really nothing I can do." So she proceeds to try and schedule another lesson for this weekend or beginning of next week. Now its almost Christmas and if I could save myself the $80 I wouldn't be spending on the lesson to buy presents I hadn't even gotten around to yet it would be helpful. I asked if we could reschedule after Christmas because money is a bit tight right now. And she responded with "this is my job you know" and "you have the money right now yes?" and I'm like well I do but I could be putting that to other uses right now. (I don't really need this lesson because there are no auditions I'm going on anytime soon and I'm getting ready to move (another blog at another time) so I'm not even going to be here in a few weeks) She got very snippy with me and pretty much bullied me into a lesson on this coming Monday that I do not need/want.
I discussed the matter with my father who in turn told me to call her back and explain to her my financial situation (Friday was my last day of work because of the move) and that my parents couldn't ppay for it because they've been paying for about half of my lessons and just wouldn't have the money for Monday. I can't expect them to starve just to please this woman ya know? So since the money things wasn't going to be a strong enough argument, when I called her today (Saturday) I also added that I would have to cancel because my mom is going in for a test at the hospital Monday (I did not give my mom a fake illness, she is actually going to the hospital to have a test done just not for another few weeks) and then when she asked about rescheduling I told her I couldn't because I really didn't have the money. I also mentioned the move after she suggested a lesson on Wednesday which is Christmas Eve. When I reminded her of this, her response was "So?" Really? This comment prompted me to tell her of the impending move that I was going to tell her in person had I kept my appointment for my lesson.
I told her flat out that I couldn't afford an extra expense right now with the holidays and the move and she had the gall to say "I thought you were serious about this." To which I wanted to say "I am...seriously broke!" That $80 for a lesson I don't need would eat into almost half of my last paycheck! I was just really surprised that this was how she was choosing to conduct our conversation. I was trying to be as rational and honest as I could and she was just firing back accusations at me like everything I was saying was just an excuse. Finally I was just like "I'm really sorry but this is how it's gonna be. No more lessons, its over." Now I didn't want to burn that bridge because when I come back from said move, I would have continued lessons with her (well possibly. I was still debating it in favor or someone who would possibly work in a manner I was more used to) but her complete disregard for my personal struggles was just really disconcerting. I mean, seriously, did she really expect me to make myself even more broke just to keep a lesson with her when I'm sure she could find someone to fill my spot? That is not how you run a business. But I think I handled in a very adult manner. I didn't raise my voice, I didn't swear and I tried to stay as calm and levelheaded as I could.
So! Whatever shall we talk about? There have been a lot of things that have happened since my last post. The most obvious is that I graduated from college. It has been a very life altering experience to say the least. I'm officially an adult now and it has really taught me a lot about myself and how I have to deal with different life situations.
We all know that I got my degree in Theatre Studies with the intention of becoming an actor. This is still a very big reality and in the last few months I've really gotten myself in gear. I've gone on auditions (no parts but still experience) and I've been doing what I've needed to improve upon all that I've already learned. When I finally got serious about this whole thing a few months ago, one of the first things I found necessary to do was work on my singing. Sure, I'm a pretty decent singer; I've been told that I have a good voice but it hasn't been a priority for me in a long time. I called around to people I knew and one of my dad's friends has a daughter who is a singer. So I asked her for reccommendations to find a good vocal coach/teacher who could help me better my voice. She did and I was grateful because it wasn't terribly out of my price range ($80 an hour) and it was easily accessible.
At our first lesson (which I was incredibly late for due to trains and ferries just hating me) she taught me her methods for breathing and how to support your breath, etc. Most of it was not stuff I had ever heard anyone suggest to me before. But I went with it because well one of her students was nominated for a Grammy so I figured she knew something. Well, over the course of our lessons, I've mainly been preparing for upcoming auditions and so have specific styles and songs that I've wanted to work on. Now let me say something here; I don't believe in just learning enough of the song for an audition. But after we'd "warm up" and she'd push me to make my voice do things I didn't think I could do (nor did I want to sometimes) then I'd finally be able to get to the song I wanted to prepare.
Let me say, she has a very different approach working on a song than anyone else I've worked with. Sure, if I've never heard a song before I may download it so I can hear it and get a feel for it but I would never really use it to work on the song once I knew all the words. But that's how I would have to do it. After we'd warm up, I'd get out my iPod (never the sheet music) and I'd sing along with the song until she'd stop me and critique what I as doing wrong. Can I just tell you that it's one thing to sing along with Lisa Loeb (the last song we worked on) in my kitchen than it is to sing along with her to try and work on a song that I wanted to learn? It's practically impossible. And now I have her forcing me to do things with my voice and my words that didn't even sound like me singing. Um hello? You don't belt 'Stay', you sing it. It's a ballad and not Celine or Christina or Beyonce or something. This is the last song we worked on so the experience is still freshest in my mind. So now that she's ripped apart my interpretation of the song and the way I sing it, I find myself changing things to make her happy and not to really sing the song the way I felt I should. Oh and did I mention she doesn't play the piano? So When I'd go in for an audition, no one had ever played the song for me on piano.
And I only know 16 bars of all 5 songs that we worked on. She only worked with me on the 16 bars I needed for the audition. Okay granted, we only had an hour but time could have allotted differently to allow working on a whole song. So now I know 16 bars of 5 songs. But what if I don't want to sing the 16 bars of the songs that I know? Yeah, I'm totally winging it. Wonderful isn't it?
So anyways, when I scheduled a lesson for this past week (for a time completely annoying for me but more on that in a sec) I had to cancel last minute because of the snow. Staten Island was kind of a mess and it started snowing right before I would have had to leave for our lesson. The buses were slow and so were the ferries so I would have been late for our lesson anyway so I just canceled. I know her rule is that you cancel at most 24 hours before your lesson but um hi, couldn't anticipate the weather. When she called me back to confirm that she got my message, she was very angry and rude with me! I was like "look, I'm sorry and I know your rule but there's really nothing I can do." So she proceeds to try and schedule another lesson for this weekend or beginning of next week. Now its almost Christmas and if I could save myself the $80 I wouldn't be spending on the lesson to buy presents I hadn't even gotten around to yet it would be helpful. I asked if we could reschedule after Christmas because money is a bit tight right now. And she responded with "this is my job you know" and "you have the money right now yes?" and I'm like well I do but I could be putting that to other uses right now. (I don't really need this lesson because there are no auditions I'm going on anytime soon and I'm getting ready to move (another blog at another time) so I'm not even going to be here in a few weeks) She got very snippy with me and pretty much bullied me into a lesson on this coming Monday that I do not need/want.
I discussed the matter with my father who in turn told me to call her back and explain to her my financial situation (Friday was my last day of work because of the move) and that my parents couldn't ppay for it because they've been paying for about half of my lessons and just wouldn't have the money for Monday. I can't expect them to starve just to please this woman ya know? So since the money things wasn't going to be a strong enough argument, when I called her today (Saturday) I also added that I would have to cancel because my mom is going in for a test at the hospital Monday (I did not give my mom a fake illness, she is actually going to the hospital to have a test done just not for another few weeks) and then when she asked about rescheduling I told her I couldn't because I really didn't have the money. I also mentioned the move after she suggested a lesson on Wednesday which is Christmas Eve. When I reminded her of this, her response was "So?" Really? This comment prompted me to tell her of the impending move that I was going to tell her in person had I kept my appointment for my lesson.
I told her flat out that I couldn't afford an extra expense right now with the holidays and the move and she had the gall to say "I thought you were serious about this." To which I wanted to say "I am...seriously broke!" That $80 for a lesson I don't need would eat into almost half of my last paycheck! I was just really surprised that this was how she was choosing to conduct our conversation. I was trying to be as rational and honest as I could and she was just firing back accusations at me like everything I was saying was just an excuse. Finally I was just like "I'm really sorry but this is how it's gonna be. No more lessons, its over." Now I didn't want to burn that bridge because when I come back from said move, I would have continued lessons with her (well possibly. I was still debating it in favor or someone who would possibly work in a manner I was more used to) but her complete disregard for my personal struggles was just really disconcerting. I mean, seriously, did she really expect me to make myself even more broke just to keep a lesson with her when I'm sure she could find someone to fill my spot? That is not how you run a business. But I think I handled in a very adult manner. I didn't raise my voice, I didn't swear and I tried to stay as calm and levelheaded as I could.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Good Touch, Bad Touch
So, it's Senior Week. Basically, it's a time for all of us graduating/graduated people to get together and be together one last time before we're all really really adults. I should be out with my friends right now, but sadly, my fundage is dwindling fast and I need $$ for girl time tomorrow. So far, Senior Week has been fantastic. I've been able to spend time with friends new and old (yes, I would be the one who would manage to make friends the week before graduation) and have a wonderful time celebrating everything I have accomplished over four years.
The most interesting thing about this whole experience is seeing people that I haven't seen over time for various reasons. Or rather, seeing people I haven't wanted to see over the years for various reasons. The people I didn't want to see are what I call "Bad Life Decisions".
Bad Life Decisions = boys I hooked up with (I don't regret them though. I don't believe in regret) who may not have been the smartest choice or boys I almost hooked up with, or boys that liked me or boys that I liked. Okay, most of my bad life decisions are male. It's true. That's just the reality of life. But there are some girls thrown in there. Friendships that ended badly, people who screwed me over, you get it.
Good Life Decisions = people I'm friends with now. People who love me unconditionally for the person I am and the things we share. The people who are just amazing to be around and who make me infinitely happy.
Facing a lot of those bad life decisions have made me realize how much I've grown up over the past four years. I'm definitely not the same person I was when I started college. I don't think anyone ever is. I don't think I've completely figured out who I am either. But then again, I don't think we ever do honestly. Once you've completely figured yourself out, you die. Well, maybe not but I feel that throughout life you're constantly learning about yourself. So yeah. I've changed. Good or bad, who cares? I like the me I am now. Even though I liked the me I was then. Each of those bad life decisions taught me something more about who I am.
I definitely would not make some of the mistakes I made throughout college now. But that's mainly because I learned from them when I made them before. I feel like I better know the difference between a hook-up and a relationship, and between a friend and an acquaintance. I can now assess a situation at the beginning for what it's going to be and not for what it could be.
I've also learned how to find the people who are going to be there for you no matter what. Seeing some of my friends for the first time in four months, it feels like I saw them last week, except we keep saying "I've missed you so much!". The people I'm friends with now accept me for who I am and only pass friendly, teasing judgment that is not meant to be taken seriously. They are people I can trust to not turn on me when the times get tough and to stick it out and wait for the storm to pass. I feel like I re-learn this every few years because as you get older and become the person you're supposed to become, you realize how the people in your life have to reflect those changes. Well, not all of them of course. It's those people who are a dime a dozen, a diamond in the rough even (I love rolling off with cliches when I talk. I amuse myself). Those are the best life decisions.
The most interesting thing about this whole experience is seeing people that I haven't seen over time for various reasons. Or rather, seeing people I haven't wanted to see over the years for various reasons. The people I didn't want to see are what I call "Bad Life Decisions".
Bad Life Decisions = boys I hooked up with (I don't regret them though. I don't believe in regret) who may not have been the smartest choice or boys I almost hooked up with, or boys that liked me or boys that I liked. Okay, most of my bad life decisions are male. It's true. That's just the reality of life. But there are some girls thrown in there. Friendships that ended badly, people who screwed me over, you get it.
Good Life Decisions = people I'm friends with now. People who love me unconditionally for the person I am and the things we share. The people who are just amazing to be around and who make me infinitely happy.
Facing a lot of those bad life decisions have made me realize how much I've grown up over the past four years. I'm definitely not the same person I was when I started college. I don't think anyone ever is. I don't think I've completely figured out who I am either. But then again, I don't think we ever do honestly. Once you've completely figured yourself out, you die. Well, maybe not but I feel that throughout life you're constantly learning about yourself. So yeah. I've changed. Good or bad, who cares? I like the me I am now. Even though I liked the me I was then. Each of those bad life decisions taught me something more about who I am.
I definitely would not make some of the mistakes I made throughout college now. But that's mainly because I learned from them when I made them before. I feel like I better know the difference between a hook-up and a relationship, and between a friend and an acquaintance. I can now assess a situation at the beginning for what it's going to be and not for what it could be.
I've also learned how to find the people who are going to be there for you no matter what. Seeing some of my friends for the first time in four months, it feels like I saw them last week, except we keep saying "I've missed you so much!". The people I'm friends with now accept me for who I am and only pass friendly, teasing judgment that is not meant to be taken seriously. They are people I can trust to not turn on me when the times get tough and to stick it out and wait for the storm to pass. I feel like I re-learn this every few years because as you get older and become the person you're supposed to become, you realize how the people in your life have to reflect those changes. Well, not all of them of course. It's those people who are a dime a dozen, a diamond in the rough even (I love rolling off with cliches when I talk. I amuse myself). Those are the best life decisions.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)