Valentine's Day...

Well, it has come and gone. As a single girl, I always hated Valentine's Day for obvious reasons; I was single and bitter. And while I was most definitely not single and bitter this year I can honestly say that many of my feelings about the holiday haven't really changed.

I always felt that Valentine's Day was terribly commercial; a holiday made solely to sell chocolate, flowers and greeting cards. It still feels that way to me, except this year I indulged in some of that commercialism. I bought two greeting cards. Why two you ask? I am horrible at choosing things so I just decided to buy my boyfriend two cards that were both really indicative of our relationship and figured when it came time I'd choose. I again couldn't make a decision so he got two cards. Did I also mention I bought these in January? Well I did. I noticed during Christmas time that if you wait until the last minute all of the good cards are taken. And since we've only been together for two and a half months, its gonna be slim pickings in the card department. I don't know why greeting card companies only create a few cards for people who haven't been in relationships long. We're not in love yet so that cut out half of my options right there. The next cut were the overly sappy cards. I HATE sappy cards for any occasion but especially Valentine's Day. It's sappy enough, why do you need a card that reflects that too? I think the cards I got were kinda sappy but like I said, I had a limited amount to work with from the start.

And flowers! Why spend that much money for something that won't even make it until the next weekend? I told my boyfriend from the beginning that flowers would not be necessary because I kill them within minutes of them entering my house. Sure, they're pretty to look at for a little while but you forget about them anyway. But there were roses everywhere! I want to know which florist had an overflow of inventory and decided to force roses on poor clueless Valentine's Day consumers.

One thing I am a fan of is candy. Even in my single days, my Valentine's Day angst was easy remedied by a Whitman's sampler. I mean, chocolate is a cure-all in my opinion. All I needed this year was a box of chocolate and a good meal. Now that I think about it I got the meal but not the chocolate. But I got two desserts so I guess that makes up for it =).

I do have to say though, my boyfriend did a great job at making my first Valentine's Day a memorable one. We had a wonderful day together. I know he was super nervous about pleasing me, even though I told him I didn't need any grandiose gestures. Just getting to spend time with him is always wonderful and special so I didn't really care what we did. Especially if I got fed. You keep my tummy happy and you've therefore kept me happy. But he pulled out all the stops. First, I met him at work in a killer dress and got my first surprise of the day. I had mentioned that I really wanted to see the movie Valentine's Day. I love romantic comedies and the list of celebs in it was enough to make my spend my $12.50. But I know that he's not really into those kind of movies so I was like, "but you don't have to take me." I swear that this wasn't a bait to get him to take me; I would have totally gone with a girlfriend. But he pulled the tickets out of his pocket and I was thrilled.

We had some time before the movie started so we meandered around Barnes and Noble for a bit to kill time. They had some really cute books, including "Love Letters of Great Men," which is the book that Carrie reads to Mr. Big in the Sex and the City movie. When the movie was made it wasn't a real book but it became so popular they actually published it! I thought it would be too cheesy to purchase on Valentine's Day but I may go back and pick up a copy =). The movie was super cute in a totally cheesy romantic comedy kind of way and that's why I loved it. I got a little misty eyed at one point which made my boyfriend promptly turn to me in shock. He has never seen me emote in such ways before. He once jokingly called me "Tin Man" so the tears were definitely out of character. After the movie let out, we decided to go uptown for dinner to a restaurant recommended to us by a friend. We got lost trying to find it but when we got there it was totally worth getting lost for! It is called Covo and it's on 135th and 12th for any NYC friends who want to check it out.

After dinner we went back to his place to exchange gifts and hang out. I know he was making a big deal about my gift but I could honestly say I had no clue what he was getting me. I got him the dvd of Michael Jackson's This Is It because that's the movie we saw on our first date (cue the throwing up sounds) but I also know that he really just likes the movie so he'd enjoy watching it whenever he wanted. So once we got in and settled he apologized for not having time to wrap my gift which was fine by me. It's not Christmas and there's no satisfaction in ripping wrapping paper off a gift. So he just told me to turn around and there sitting on his floor was an Easy Bake Oven!!!

That may sound like a really random gift but its a big deal. Out of all the toys I got as a kid, the one thing I never got and really wanted was an Easy Bake Oven. I've been bitter about it since I was like eight years old. It was the one thing I had that I could hold over my parents' heads. You know..."All I ever wanted was an Easy Bake Oven and you never got me one so that's why I went crazy." That kind of thing. It's come up in several conversations that my boyfriend has been involved in but I never in a million years thought that he would actually buy me one! Again, I wasn't dropping hints, promise. But there it was in all of its kitschy glory. When I told my parents, they were shocked and jealous. My mother then told me that they planned to finally get me one for my birthday this year. But it's too late! This is why I have the greatest boyfriend ever. He really did make the day special for me.

And I know that no other Valentine's Day will live up to this one because it was the first one I've ever really celebrated. But I can safely say that though I have eased up on my harsh feelings on matters of the heart, I still remain a skeptic of Valentine's Day. But I have to thank my wonderful boyfriend for temporarily making me see the holiday through rose colored glasses =D

You Make My Heart Super Happy!

Okay, so that title is from a kids television show called Ni Hao Kai-Lan (do not judge me; I watched it a lot when I was a nanny). But I feel like it applies very well to the current life situation I've found myself in.

For anyone who actually knows me, you've probably figured out what's making me so happy. For those who don't know, I have a boyfriend. My first for reals, actually committed, big girl relationship. I've never had a boyfriend ever in my twenty three years of existence. But now I do and frankly, I couldn't be happier.

I'm going to try not to be too mushy but sometimes I honestly can't help it. I am so ridiculously happy that sometimes I have to pinch myself just to make sure I'm not dreaming. I know I sound super cheesy but I'm sure it'll wear off eventually. It's just so bizarre to me. Sure I've liked plenty of guys in the past but this is so very different than any experience I've ever had. I've finally figured out what people have told me about really liking someone and actually making a commitment to be with them.

Now, I am definitely one of the most cynical people I know, especially when it comes to men and relationships. I think it's because I've been burned so many times; I just put up a defensive wall instead of actually being open to a relationship. They say timing is everything though. After the situation I went through a couple months ago, I didn't think that I was ready to let anyone into my heart but I guess I was! And boy am I glad because I am seriously just one big ball of excitement, even when I'm mad, I'm still happy deep down inside. It really amazes me that one person can make me so infinitely full of joy. I need to stop saying the word happy lol. My joy is really just overwhelming sometimes; I didn't think I was capable of such things. But really I just think that more than anything, it's not actually having a boyfriend that's making me so happy, its the actual person.

I've always believed that when you find the right person for you it'll be as clear as day. Something just changes. When I was in college, I would dress and act a certain way when I knew I was going to see the guy I liked. Sure, it got his attention and it worked, but I always felt that I had to act a certain way after that. When I met Jon (that's my boyfriend's name for those who don't know), I was totally myself. I didn't really care much about impressing him, mainly because I wasn't really looking for a boyfriend (it's really true. you just have to be open and let these things come to you). We really just became good friends who enjoyed spending time with each other. I can honestly say that I don't remember when I started liking him, but it wasn't long after we met. Every story I told mentioned his name at least once. That's usually a good indicator of how much you like someone right? But for a really long time I had no idea if he liked me or not. I mean sure we kinda flirted but I flirt with everybody. When I asked a friend's opinion, she pretty much told me I was an idiot for not noticing that he was obviously into me. (have I mentioned I am horrible at telling if a guy likes me or not?)

Of course, I was still unsure. I mean, just because my friends thought he liked me didn't actually mean he did right? It took awhile before I was really sure. It wasn't until he started texting me like every day. We would talk for hours on top of the hours we had already been talking to each other. And we'd talk about EVERYTHING that came to mind. For the first time probably ever, I was totally comfortable being myself. I never put on an act and dressed or talked a certain way. Even after I figured out that he probably liked me. He liked me even if I was a huge dork. He thinks all my little quirks are "interesting." He thinks I'm funny and cool and likes being around me. I don't think I've ever really liked a guy who genuinely thought I was cool. I don't really think I'm cool, but who am I to judge his taste? =P

I've always said that whatever guy likes me and wants to be with me must be crazy because of all of the ridiculous issues that I have. That an my neurotic tendencies. But they don't phase him. Whenever something comes up, we talk about it, he reassures me that it doesn't matter to him and then we move on. And I always feel better. I know that I can be 100% honest with him and it won't scare him off (he actually appreciates that I don't hide any of my feelings. I really did this to force him to tell me he liked me but hey, it's working so I'll stick with it). But why lie to someone you really care about? This is what I've learned about relationships, when you're open and honest about your feelings, you get the same thing back. If you hold back anything, you can expect the person you're with to do the same thing. To me, honesty is the most important thing in a relationship. No one is a mind reader and if you're afraid to tell the person you're with what you're thinking or feeling, how are they going to know.

Now, that's why I can say I'm the happiest I've ever been! I'm with someone who is happy to be with me too. We are kind of ridiculously cheesy most of the time but it's cute. We like to hold hands and I love when he kisses me on the forehead or gives me hugs. I'm finally like one of those couples that I used to make fun of walking down the street (okay I admit sometimes I still make fun of them but I can't help it!). I get butterflies when we kiss and nothing makes my day better than seeing him smile. I'm with a wonderful, amazing, smart, funny, cute guy who makes me feel like I'm the luckiest girl in the world. Who wouldn't be happy?

"the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with." ~Juno~